The Swift Side of Me
#007
You Belong With Me:
Celebrating the True Power of Friendship
I’ve been reflecting a lot on friendships this past year—the childhood friends, the ones who stick with you through the years, the “school friends,” the “work friends,” and the ones you might only see once in a while, but when you do, it’s like no time has passed. The point is, I think everyone has their own categories of friends. I used to think being a “close friend” meant seeing each other regularly, but if the busyness of life is what interferes in our friendships, is the frequency of hangouts really a good measure of closeness? Timing is more often about the seasons of life and the way relationships change, with ebbs and flow over time.
In the fifteen months since my car accident, I’ve seen some of my friendships tested, others have flourished, and there have even been some friendships rekindled in ways I didn’t foresee. My view of friendship has shifted in a way that feels almost like a Taylor Swift album transition—from one era to the next. For example, my younger sister, Laura, who is honestly one of my best friends, had her first kid in November 2022—talk about a plot twist! Getting together with Laura was always a guaranteed good time—think girl talk, a boardgame session, binge-watching Love Is Blind, and a glass of wine or two. Fast-forward to now… It’s only in the past couple of months that Laura and I had our first adult-only 1:1 sister hangout since my nephew was born—after more than two years! Don’t get me wrong, I am obsessed with my nephew, but it is crazy how it has switched up what time with my sister looks like! And I know it’s not a reflection of how I feel about her or our bond—it’s just the reality of adulthood. Time only seems to speed up, moving faster and faster, with no option to rewind or hit pause. I think most of the time, we’re all just trying to keep up.
Naturally, with friends moving, getting married, having kids, changing jobs, or pursuing new hobbies, some relationships will shift. I’ve realized just how easy it is to lose touch or feel isolated when everything else in life becomes so busy. And I’ll admit, there were moments in this past year when I found myself searching for meaning in friendships that felt distant. But what I’ve come to understand is this: when you truly matter to someone, they’ll make time for you, even if it’s just for a quick call or an impromptu coffee date. I’ve also learned that a no today, doesn’t mean a no forever. But it’s the effort that reminds you of the real friendships—the ones that will weather the seasons of life, just like Taylor’s songs that stand the test of time.
Okay, enough with the Eeyore gloom and doom—let’s move onto something a little brighter! I want to share about how hosting a simple Galentines event helped shift my perspective on what constitutes friendship; and helped me develop a whole new list of qualities that I value in a friendship.
A Galentines Extravaganza for Extraordinary Women
So, one thing you should know about me is that most of my life, my best and longest lasting friendships have been with men. As early as grade school being friends with girls often meant drama, bullying and generally toxicity. Any time that I tried introducing new female friends into my life, I would see the same pattern unfold time and time again—in university, in nursing, at work, you name it.
So how did I end up hosting a Galentines event if I don’t have any gals in my life? Well, this is where that mindset shift happened. I decided to invite seven women who I previously would have addressed using other titles besides “friend”, “gal pal” or “girlfriend”. They included my younger sister, two of my cousins and four co-workers from the past and present. Each of these relationships were special in their own way, but it was rare to call any of them as my friend when referring to them in another conversation. It was always, “my cousin”, “my sister”, “my office mate”, “my coworker”.
It felt like a bit of a social experiment, bringing all these different women from different aspects of my life together. I did my best to make sure each of my guests had at least one other person at the event that they knew; but I really didn’t know how the event was going to play out, or if people would gel nicely. As is often the case, I was overthinking things, because when the day finally arrived, things went without a hitch! I can’t even tell you all that we did, but it was more than I could have ever wanted. Supportive girl talk, appreciation of the effort that went into organizing the event, and even a little craft activity—painting mini birdhouses!
I don’t remember having to lift a finger—I can’t tell you how rare it is for me to feel like this when I’m hosting an event. I intentionally kept things simple, making some pizzas and desserts in advance. But my girls really pulled through and took care of the rest of it, bringing appetizers, candies, flowers, and more! Not to mention, staying to help tidy up before heading home.
The universal connection among this group of extraordinary women was the way we have shown up for each other—like ‘You Belong With Me’ in the form of friendship. We may not be in each other’s lives daily, but when we need each other, we’re there. It was honestly such a wonderful way to spend an afternoon, and the birdhouse painting was a big hit! I mean this is the best way possible…it was mindless. Something simple and fun that we could do while enjoying each others company. Not to mention it made a great little souvenir to remember the event!
The lesson I took away from this event is that the frequency of hangouts isn’t the true measure of a great friendship. It’s loyalty. Showing up for someone in their lowest moments and celebrating them at their highest. Just like the seasons of life, some friendships evolve and some may fade, but the ones that matter will weather the changes, always.
Achieving the Dreamiest Galentines Vibe
Now, let’s dive into the details of the event itself. I spent weeks carefully selecting the perfect décor and crafting thoughtful party favors and customized evites (designed by yours truly!), with every element designed to set the tone for a feminine, girl power-inspired gathering. I also managed to find more than one decorative piece that just screamed Swiftie, and I absolutely loved incorporating a little bit of Taylor into the event. Taylor is all about uplifting the girlies in her life. After all, in ‘You Need to Calm Down’ she sings:
🎶 And we see you over there on the internet
Comparing all the girls who are killing it
But we figured you out
We all know now, we all got crowns
You need to calm down 🎶
Table Setting
For the table setting, I decided to make my own “tablecloth” made of recycled paper, then adding handwritten supportive messages that celebrated female friendships, as well as sweet hand drawn elements such as hearts and ‘XOXOs’. A very simple DIY and environmentally conscious—I will definitely do this again with future events!
Once the table setting was complete, I moved on to selecting the dishes and glassware. After a few trips to Winners, I found the most perfect pieces—small side plates with ribbon borders and delicate pink wine glasses adorned with mini bow charms. There will never be enough words to adequately describe how perfect these pieces were, so I am obviously including some photos for you! I also included some pictures of the perfect candlesticks—white and pinked, stamped with mini hearts, with pink glass candle holders to make the perfect pairing!
Touches of Taylor
Of course, I couldn’t resist adding some touches that paid homage to Taylor herself. After all, what better way to celebrate a Galentine’s event than with a few playful nods to a woman who’s built her career on empowering other women?
First, there was the pink cursive Karma sign—not only the title one of my favourite songs from Midnights, but the gathering of all these amazing ladies felt like some good karma coming my way… 🎶 ’cause me and Karma vibe like that! 🎶
Another decoration DIY was the supersized ‘Happy Galentines’ friendship bracelet, made from plastic balls you’d find in a kid’s ball pit and styrofoam discs with letter stickers to spell out the festive message. Easier than it may look, so don’t feel intimidated!
Next, after recently becoming a new plant mom, I knew I wanted to pick out something colourful for the event; and better yet, weeks earlier I had found a planter in the shape of a die (as in what you use in some boardgames) whose pips were in the shape of hearts! It was giving a Lover era vibe, and so perfect for this event! Not to mention seeing it immediately had me singing
🎶 Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes! 🎶 from Cruel Summer’.
Other Taylor touches included a ceramic pair of hands making the classic Taylor Swift heart sign 🫶 and a decorative glass butterfly. A ‘Year of the Snake’ patterned blanket in tones of coral, red and white–always be manifesting Reputation TV! And finally, paper heart chains which were giving Paper Rings vibes, along with handmade paper fortune cookies—a nod to Bejeweled, another favourite from Midnights!
I’m going to sign off this post a little differently than normal. Given the topic, I thought there was no better way than to sign off with a love letter to each of my girls…
To Laura, my younger sibling, my best friend, the person I most look up to and the person I can share my darkest secrets with. Thank you for being there for me always, but especially in this past year. I love you so much!
To Liisa, my sweetheart cousin. Thank you for making the drive and fitting in this event into your busy schedule as an amazing mother and career woman! You are one-of-a-kind and perhaps one of the most thoughtful people I know!
To Hannah, my other sweetheart cousin. I know you couldn’t be there in person, but you were very much there in spirit! Thank you for the comedic relief at your own wedding to help me feel a little bit better, or at the very least bring a smile to my face! And thank you for being among the first to follow @sugar.dice.evrythngnice…your support means so much!
To Em, my dear friend, fellow plant mom, crafter and baking buddy! You have always loved and celebrated me; and even during difficult times in your life, you have still managed to show up for me. Also, a big thank you for impromptu deliveries of flowers, baked goods and cute Winners finds that you think I would love! Although entirely not necessary, just know that I truly appreciate it.
To Caitlin, my best ever office mate and sounding board! You are the best listener a friend could ask for, and always at the ready with words of encouragement and advice! I have so much admiration for the person you are—as a nurse, a mother and a friend!
To Kaushika, one of the most badass women I know! You are one of the most brilliant nurse practitioners I have worked with to date, and you supported me during a very challenging time in the workplace. You have always believed in me and were among the few who were there to help. You are one of my only single, childless friends left—which I say with the most love—as I know how difficult it can be to navigate in a world where being a mother is valued at the highest level, and being childless means something is wrong with us (thank you for reminding me that it is not the case).
To Janell, again someone who couldn’t be there in person, but who has shown up for me time and time again this past year. Thank you for the Uber delivery days after my car accident. Thank you for spending time with me, playing new board games to help distract and help fill a void during a very prolonged period of isolation. Thank you for impromptu invites to hangout, even if we haven’t managed to make it happen just yet! You are another colleague who I have so much respect and admiration for, and you have one of the biggest hearts out there!
Here’s to each of you!🥂Thank you all for being part of my life and making this event so special. I couldn’t be more grateful for each of you!
Xo,
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